Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Calming the storm

Do you ever have those days/weeks when it seems like everything is just off kilter? I mean it was not necessarily a bad week, but one where it was just off. Well I just had one of those. I mean it was crazy, and yes I do realize it is Tuesday, but yesterday threatened to extend my off kilter week into this week. Well...I just wasn't going to let that happen, and as I sit here writing this I am making a stand for today too! So anyway, yesterday I just felt like I had so much to do, with not enough time to do it in, and for me that usually translates into a really stressful, overwhelming day. But let me tell you what stopped the madness for me. It was about mid-day and I could feel myself getting worked up with the kids and with my job, and the errands I had to run, and I am not exactly sure what happened but I began to recognize that this must be the devil because this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach-nothing good can come of it. So while I was driving I asked the Lord for peace. I asked him to calm the storm I was in and to stop all the chaos around me.
Now, let me tell you, I still had a lot of things to do, but I definitely and almost instantly felt better about what I had to do. I mentally went over my "to do" list and went line by line, and I realized that if I did not get to everything today that it was going to be ok, half of that stuff I could have done tomorrow (today). It was after that, that my day was cool. Not only did I get all of my line items done, but the kids and I had time to go to the park. They played while I read a book. How awesome is that! God is so good, and I am just so thankful that I remembered to pray in the midst of my storm.

*Note to self: prayer does work, if I would just remeber to use it....

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


You know sometimes I forget. Sometimes I don't want to remember. Sometimes I wish the week would go faster, sometimes it does and then I wonder where the time has gone. Sometimes I am angry at the one's I love. Sometimes I want to keep them closer. Sometimes I wish I could be the "real" me with my husband. Sometimes I don't think he wants to hear it. Sometimes, I love him so much it hurts, sometimes I wonder if that perfect couple goes through the same feelings. Sometimes I feel so close to God. Sometimes I feel unattainable. Sometimes when the sun is shining on my face I can feel the warmth in my toes. Sometimes my hair makes me so mad I just want to chop it off. And then sometimes....ohhh girl it is right on point. Sometimes I just wanna run away from it all. Sometimes I wonder "how did I get here?". Sometimes I wonder where I would be with out it. Sometimes I see myself in my children. Sometimes they make me so tired I cannot speak one. more. word. Sometimes I just want to hold them and reminisce. Sometimes I feel like Martha Stewart, it's those times I know I can conquer this house. But then sometimes I feel like things will never get done. Sometimes I just want to give up. Sometimes I wish I could live for ever. Sometimes.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

It's been a while

Wow! It's been a while since I have posted. Actually it had been so long, I was not even sure I could find this blog. I thought it was lost among the mish mash of the world wide web... Anyway, as I sit here and read the previous post I had written I am inspired. The words are not only poetic, but they are true. I don't remember being so open and raw. It's like a breath of fresh air. It has made me want to continue what was started over half a year ago. As I read, and reminisce, I want to give an update. God truly is good. He has blessed me and mine in ways that sometimes take me a moment to recognize. Our financial situation had definitely improved. We still have a ways to go, but we are no longer in the Caribbean (see previous post). I would say we have made it to the shore, but are now trying to find life.
Right now something other than finances has been at the forefront of my mind... My relationship with the Man upstairs. Truthfully I have been slacking a little. With the birth of another child(to total 3) it seems like I have no time for anything. I know this is the one thing that I should always have time for. But somehow, someway I have let it slip. However! I will find my way back. I will not let Him go. Sometimes we all backslide, but we can never go too far. God is always waiting with open arms for us to return unto Him.
*Though I am weak, though I am dry, I refused to be denied.